I must admit, I am a bit of a wreck right now. I feel like a chicken with its head cut off: running in a hundred different directions with no idea where in the world I’m going.

I guess I should back up and give you some idea why I even feel this way. I’ll try to be as coherent as possible (although these days that’s been pretty hard for me.) Okay, breathe…here goes:

Basically, a few months ago, I decided to take the plunge and move to LA. I have been living in New York City for the past nine years. I moved here to go to college, fell in love with this place, and stayed after graduation to pursue a career in acting. For so long I was so sure that all I wanted to do with my life was theatre. Ever since I walked into acting 101 at age fourteen I fell in love and promptly decided that at 18 I would move to New York, get my degree in drama, and pursue a life on the stage.

So far, all of those things have happened for me. I got my degree and I have been working fairly steadily in theatre since graduation. Although I have not had my big Broadway starring role, I’ve been in off-Broadway productions and have been able to make a living at what I love.

So then, what’s wrong with me? I guess just don’t feel that passion, that joy, that fire for the stage anymore. Just by admitting that, I almost feel like I am betraying that fourteen-year old girl that made my life plan. But I guess that’s the thing: I am no longer that little girl anymore. I have changed a lot through the years and so have my plans. To be completely honest, right now in New York I feel stuck and I must admit I am kind of hating on this city right now. I’m tired of being crowded on the subway with a bunch of strangers. I’m tired of how this city STINKS, especially during the summer. I’m tired of having to make a production just to wash my clothes and go grocery shopping. And, I’m tired of having no family within 600 miles.

So I guess what I need most is a change. But, I must admit it is scary as hell and I don’t even know where to start. I am moving in about two weeks and I have no LA agent, know no casting directors, and know where nothing is. Where do I start? What do I do? Where are the best acting classes? Who takes the best headshots? I am so scared of having to start from scratch after working my ass of in NYC for nine years. Most of all, I am scared of having to leave LA a failure.

Okay, I’m done rambling. These are the questions I will be exploring in the coming moths. Wish me luck.

– Anonymous

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