Recently I went to an audition for a new pilot. A cop show. I don’t necessarily see myself as the perfect candidate for a lead detective, mostly because I don’t feel quite old enough yet. I had an evening with the material, the next afternoon, went over to Warner Brother’s to see how I fared. There were a few people there, and the receptionist told me that my agent had given me the wrong day, I was supposed to come in the day after. I briefly cursed my agents and decided I would give it a shot. After the producer’s got back from their impromtu meeting, and being bumped ahead because some woman decided she wasn’t ready yet, I walked into the room. Said my hello’s started the scene, had to stop and pull my shit together and start again. The scene’s went ok, pretty standard procedural drama stuff. I walk out of the room and the casting director follows me out and she says ‘ I don’t care what the fuck they think, that was the best read we’ve had all day. Thank you for coming in and I’m so glad that I got to meet you.” I was taken aback, because of how incredibly nice that was of her to say, and then because I didn’t think i did anything spectacular in the audition. As a matter of fact, I’m a terrible auditioner. I’m a ball of nerves every time, and almost every time I let those nerves get in my way. I went home and thought about what was so different this time, because I could definitely feel the change. My conclusion was comfort. I think every person goes through a period of deciding their path, and even after you’ve decided it, it’s still not certain until you’ve actually seen some form of success, big or small. Or maybe now, my commitment supercedes my failures. Now, acting, auditioning, all those things that come with it, is my path. There’s more comfort because I’m no longer solely trying to get that big job that takes me to the top. Now, this is simply what I do. And it feels good.
–Anonymous
